Rank 1 - Playing the Field

I'm so damn tired today. After spending my day yesterday in the Sewage works, and spending the full evening bickering with the med staff for not realising how awesome I am, I ended up trying to get to sleep only to enter the dorm to Pete’s bellowing snoring. I hate communal living. As soon as me and Koffing climb the ranks we’ll get ourselves a suite, heck a floor dedicated to our privacy, but for now I gotta’ deal with bunking it with a bunch of gasbag boneheads. After sleep I drag myself towards the canteen and barely manage to make some toast. I hate early days. Nothing sucks more than the sound of chirping bird Pokemon greeting the day with overly optimistic hollering. Stinking mongrels. I manage to get some clothes on and I wander out into the halls with all of the alertness of a zombified Snorlax. Needless to say I’m in a crappy mood this morning.

On the bright side I’m gonna be able to unload some of my frustrations on this newblood. Really make ‘em squirm, y’know? I mean it’s their fault I had to cease my awesome dream about me being a giant. It’s their fault I can’t chill out with Koffing and my newly caught Ekans today. I mean Koffing deserves a hero’s welcome today, and all he got yesterday evening was some sour cream rubbed on him, and not the tasty dipping kind. It’s the newbie’s fault that I’m not allowed to hang out at the sewage plant today and secure me that Toxicroak before I’m deployed. It’s their fault that my first outing isn’t a one man show. Well partly their fault partly that snooty med guy. Noone is awake. I am. This is their fault. As soon as I walk on through that door I’m gonna unlease hell upon this sorry excuse for a grunt. I’m gonna explode in so many directions that they’re gonna have to peel themselves off the walls. I’ma kick their spirit into the ground and then sew some fancy pants with it. Then I’ll destroy the fancy pants.

I’m tired alright. The main thing to take away from this is that as soon as I see this good for nothing trainee I’m gonna make them wish they’d never been born! I enter the common room. I look at the grunt.

–I LOVE YOU!-

I fall to the floor in tears. I think I just died inside.

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